I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
