question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
