3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I party with great urgency now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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