just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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