If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
