remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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