You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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