I love black thongs
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
