i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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