I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
