It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
