Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
