I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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