i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
