The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
