tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
