Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
