She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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