so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I want a musical about memes.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
