: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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