So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
