Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
