EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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