Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
