I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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