he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
