the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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