My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
