he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
