If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
