You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
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