On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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