Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
