Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
