Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
