Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
