what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize