Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
