You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dick very happy bro
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
