I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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