the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
