can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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