the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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