i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
