I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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