How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
