I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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