She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Someone shattered a urinal.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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