I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
