I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
