Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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