This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize