Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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