Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize