I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
