Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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