I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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