Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
