i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
