i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
