she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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