Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
