sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
